Navigating the Storm: How to Support a Loved One Experiencing Suicidal Thoughts

Supporting someone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts can feel overwhelming and confusing. You want to help, but you may not know what to say or do. One of the most effective ways to support a loved one in this situation is to let them take the lead in their own care. This approach respects their autonomy, builds trust, and encourages them to find solutions that work best for them. Listening with empathy and offering a safe space for them to express themselves are key.

Creating a calm and safe environment for open conversations

Why Letting Them Lead Matters

When someone is suicidal, they often feel powerless and overwhelmed. Taking control of their care can help restore a sense of agency. Instead of imposing solutions or rushing to fix the problem, allowing them to guide the process shows respect for their feelings and experiences.

• Empowerment: Giving them control helps rebuild confidence.

• Trust: They feel heard and understood, which strengthens your relationship.

• Tailored solutions: They know their needs best and can identify what might help.

  
  

For example, a friend might prefer talking to a counselor, while another might find comfort in creative outlets like writing or art. Letting them decide encourages engagement and commitment to their own healing.

How to Listen with Empathy

Listening is more than just hearing words. It means fully focusing on the person, understanding their emotions, and responding with compassion. Here are some practical tips:

• Be present: Put away distractions like phones or TV.

• Use open body language: Nod, maintain eye contact, and lean slightly forward.

• Avoid judgment: Don’t criticize or dismiss their feelings.

• Reflect back: Repeat or paraphrase what they say to show understanding.

• Ask gentle questions: Encourage them to share more without pressure.

  
  

For instance, instead of saying, “You shouldn’t feel that way,” try, “That sounds really hard. Can you tell me more about what you’re going through?”

Supporting Without Taking Over

It’s natural to want to fix things quickly, but taking over can make your loved one feel powerless or misunderstood. Instead, offer support that respects their pace and choices.

• Ask how you can help: “What would be most helpful for you right now?”

• Offer options, not orders: Suggest ideas but let them decide.

• Check in regularly: Show ongoing care without overwhelming.

• Respect boundaries: If they need space, give it without withdrawing support.

  
  

For example, if they want to talk but not about certain topics, honor that. If they prefer professional help, assist in finding resources without pushing.

Encouraging Professional Help While Respecting Their Lead

Professional support can be crucial, but it’s important your loved one feels ready and willing to seek it. You can:

• Share information about therapists, hotlines, or support groups.

• Offer to help with appointments or transportation if they want.

• Encourage small steps, like a phone call or online chat.

• Avoid forcing or threatening, which can backfire.

  
  

Remember, your role is to support their decisions, not to make them.

Creating a Supportive Environment

Your attitude and the environment you create can make a big difference. Here’s how to foster a space where your loved one feels safe and valued:

• Be patient: Healing takes time and may have ups and downs.

• Show unconditional care: Let them know you care no matter what.

• Maintain confidentiality: Respect their privacy unless safety is at risk.

• Promote healthy routines: Encourage sleep, nutrition, and gentle activity.

• Stay informed: Learn about suicide prevention and mental health.

  
  

For example, you might invite them to join a walk or a quiet meal, emphasizing connection without pressure.

Emergency Planning

There may be moments when your loved one needs more support than you can provide alone. While emergency services are often framed as the default response, some people find experiences like psychiatric holds or inpatient stays to be distressing rather than helpful. Talking about these possibilities ahead of time—during calmer moments—can reduce fear and build trust. Creating an emergency plan together that prioritizes safety while honoring your loved one’s wishes, and that includes options like trusted friends or family, peer support lines, mobile crisis teams, or community-based care, can help ensure support feels as compassionate and grounding as possible when it’s needed most.